Articles Parking Blog

Everyone keeps talking about recession, foreclosures, lost jobs. Bad news all over the place, bombarding us from every little corner. How did we get here?
Before you start blaming it all on greedy rich people who sit on the boards and corrupt politicians I want you to honestly think about it. Aren`t we to blame as well?
We wanted bigger houses and flat screen tv’s (and at least 3 tv’s in the house), we wanted better cars, more shoes and 10 pairs of jeans…we wanted commercials and the main role.
We competed with our neighbors, brothers, friends – if they have it why shouldn`t I? In our heads TO HAVE equals TO SUCCEED. But does it really? Do all those things make us successful? Happy? Fulfilled?
We have movies, soap operas ,reality shows, cell phones, laptops, Pc’s , X-boxes, twitter, facebook, myspace….., we even have computers driving our cars, showing us the right roads….never before has our lives been so technological rich and never before have we been so poor, empty and alone.
Family dinner at the table is replaced by virtual restaurants (everybody is raving about some restaurant game on facebook), coffee with our friends is done over  our cell phones, we hang out online leaving our messages on the walls. What the heck are we doing? Our kids will be unable to carry on a decent conversation because they don`t play outside, they don`t communicate, they don`t share.
Is this an advanced society? Or are we all brain washed? I see scared people everywhere, not a trace of happiness, fear is all around. They fear the “worst” (loosing their jobs and houses).
But what they don`t realize is that it all got started by wanting more than what we could afford. Those houses were not ours to begin with – they belong to the bank until the last mortgage rate is paid off. So, what are we actually losing? AN ILLUSION. NOTHING. A house does not make a home. As long as we have friends and family to stay with, we have a home. And we are going to be fine.
So, if you get that foreclosure notice, or if you lose your job – step outside the house and remember: LIFE IS BEAUTIFULL. You may think it is the end, but it is only a new beginning – a chance for you to be free. That house/car was just a burden  on your back, you were unable to sleep over it. So celebrate – you are finally free.  This is your opportunity to find out what kind of life you really want. Give yourself a chance for a fresh, clean start. You never know what could come out of it.
Lots of people find out later that losing their job or their house was the best thing that ever happened to them because they were forced to be creative while searching for a solution. Often they lead much better lives after the experience. Love life and life will love you back.
And the most important thing: share it with your loved ones.  No virtual reality can replace a real laugh with your friends, no computer can make you dinner, give you a hug or cry with you. When life strikes (or shines) only real people can be there with you and for you.  Just give them a chance. And even more importantly, give yourself a chance.

Ps. I will tell you a true story. There was  a great, loving lady that I met online. She helped a bunch of people with their computer and marketing skills, she used to talk to them over the phone for hours, only to help them. But, one day she lost her offline job. And she became desperate. Her husband had his hours cut, so then they had even less money. She started to worry about her house. She worried 24/7. She couldn`t forget about the problem, it was tearing her apart and instead of focusing on good, she was focused on bad all the time. One day “out of the blue” she started not to feel well. Every day after was even worse. It  lasted for 2  months until she was diagnosed with lung cancer.  She died a month after they diagnosed it – a month ago. It broke my heart. And the hearts of all that knew her.
So what is the point of this story? First of all I think her worrying about everything made her sick. If she knew how it would end do you think she would have worried so much? She spent her last 6 months thinking about losing her house and where did it get her? She lost her life. And the house still stands there.
So, whenever you start to feel desperate, remember this story. And be grateful for life itself.

Do you ever have those days when you feel that you don´t fit in with your own family? I am talking about parents of course. Whatever you do or don´t do is never good enough for them. Usually it begins in your early teens. Or to analyze deeper, it begins the moment you realize that you have your own opinion that doesn´t correspond with theirs.

I’m 32 and my mum still think that she knows the better way of me living my life. She often says that she doesn ´t know where she went wrong: she raised 3 of us to do all those steps that society expects, yet all 3 of us took different paths.

No mum, I didn´t finish a university just so you would be unhappy. I simply did not fit in. Maybe if I had a chance to go to a different university I would finish it.

Maybe I will finish it when the time comes. Maybe not.

No, mum, I didn´t find a steady permanent job. Why would I find a job from 9-5? To hate my life the majority of the day? I LIKED changing jobs,learning different things and gaining experiences. And no matter what you don´t understand that, I liked living without the “security” of tomorrow. Yes, I had tough moments. Yes, I still have them. Living without electricity for 2 weeks is ….well different in 21st century . But it gave me a whole new experience. And for 2 weeks I was focused on some maybe more important things. And I took a pledge that it will never ever happen to me unless I decide it. Because feeling helpless for a lack of money is no fun. And thank you for offering yours, but why should you pay for the consequences of my decisions. I never asked you for that. So, no thank you. And no mum, I don´t want to get a loan from the bank to “buy” my own property. You say it´s security, yet you don´t realize that there is nothing secure about our lives. It would only chain me to one place. And what is secure about a bank owning your home for the next 30 years?

And no mum, getting married and having kids was never my priority. Yes, a man that I love is next to me but I don´t need a piece of paper to prove to you (or anyone) our love.

And no, even if I do get married one day, I will not wear a wonderful wedding dress. And I will not get married in church. It will be him and me. Because mum, it is a celebration of OUR love. And yes, he has long hair, beard and a tattoo. Three to be exact. Does that make him not good for me? That is what you thought before you met him. And he proved you wrong.

And yes, I am 32 with no kids. Do I really need kids to fulfill something? You say it is natural. I say everyone has to decide what is natural for themselves. If we ever decide to have them, they will not be there to fulfill us. We will not live their lives for them and we will not think we know better. They will make THEIR choices and we won´t ever try to stop them.

I am trying to live my life without any regrets. On the other hand, you do have regrets. And yet you still think that I should listen to you. And yet you are still very judgmental about all my steps. And you still think that you know best. Why do you think that being my mum gave you the right to judge me? When all I needed and wanted from you was your unconditional love. Isn´t that what mothers are suppose to do?

And yes mum, I LOVE YOU. Unconditionally.

But that doesn´t mean that I will sacrifice my happiness (whatever that is for me) in order for you to be happy.

And btw, isn´t happiness something that each of us have to find inside of ourselves?

Let’s talk about something nice for a change. Let’s talk about friends. In my life I have been blessed with a few very, very good friends. I consider them a family that I have had a chance to create on my own. If I would lose all that I possess, I would still be a very rich person. All of my friends have keys to my apartment – and I have theirs. Numerous times they jumped in when I was in trouble – financial or other; 3 in the morning, no questions asked. And I have done the same for them. I think of them as the most valuable assets in my life. We have all went through rough situations in life when we literally did not have anything to eat, nor dishes to eat from. I’ll tell you just one story:

I lost my job and I was late with payments for bills and my apartment. So I decided to take a job in a different state for a few months, a state that I didn’t know the language (Germany) – but it was my only way out at the time. So I barely raised money for a bus ticket. I did not have one single penny in my pocket. But that did not stop me. And there I was, all alone at the bus station, waiting for the bus to show up and at one moment I saw my best friend coming towards me. She had a very tough surgery on her back just 2 weeks earlier and she was wearing a cast from her neck to the waist. I could not believe my eyes! I was very angry at her but happy at the same time to have her by my side at that moment. So I started to shout at her: Damn girl, you should be in bed, for god sake you have a cast on and the doctors strictly told you not to move until it is removed. She just smiled, hugged me and gave me an envelope. She said that she could not let me go without any money. But I knew that she didn’t have any money either – she basically gave me everything she had. But returning the money was out of the question – she didn’t want to hear about it. She just said: You are going to a place where you don t know anybody. I have people around me to help me. You need that more than me. 12 years have gone by since then. We are still very close friends.

I could tell you dozens of stories about my friends. But all that it comes to is sharing a life with those around you, through the good, and the bad. If I had the whole world and no friends to share it with I would still have nothing.

So I ask you: What will your friends do for you? How far will they go? And more important, how far would you go for them?